I am a whiny baby
by Sarah Luna
It’s gotten really bad. I’m tired, I’m stressed, I’m worn down, I don’t feel like doing anything, and I’m complaining about it. Ugh. This isn’t even a hard week. I mean, it’s hard, yes, but it’s no where near the most difficult week I’ve had, nor am I having the most difficult week out of all my friends. Wow, that had a lot of clauses. Sentences are not minivans. [Wow again, I just complained about my complaining.]
Anyways, I’m trying to figure out why I’m in such a funk. Here are my reas–excuses.
Seasonal Affective Disorder is real. You know what else is real? Weather idioms. April showers. I thought that was just a cutesy saying. No, it’s rained almost nonstop for…a long time. Grey skies equals no motivation. But Sarah, you ask, how come you were ok during winter? Because I knew winter was going to be hard. Everyone warned me that February was the worst. I prepared for it. February was a piece of cake. I was not prepared for it to be cold from October on through April. Enough is enough.
So much work
Ok, I know this isn’t even my worst week. Still, assignment due today, assignment due tomorrow, huge presentation on Thursday, yet another ethical discussion section to prepare for on Friday, and giving a lecture next week. Oh. and ballroom.
Ballroom competition on Easter
This just bothers me. I love dancing. I love practicing with my partner. I love traveling with the team. But…ugh. I need to stop because I’m finding people to go to church with, I still got to hear Bach’s Mass, there’s an Easter concert the following weekend with all the Ithaca churches, and I need to get over this.
Well, this has been partially resolved. I have an official advisor now. Yay. I still feel behind though. Every single one of my colleagues feels the same.
It’s probably good that I live alone because this attitude is not attractive. Not having a roommate though means that I just leave messes out. I have no motivation to do dishes or vacuum or organize all my papers.
Ok, venting done. Going to bed now. Full day tomorrow. I’ve spent >12 hours on campus both yesterday and today and most likely will tomorrow as well. Things are happening. I’ll write more on the good stuff later.
I just needed to own my discouragement and be accountable for these feelings.