How not to pick up guys

by Sarah Luna

Picture this: A balmy night in Lincoln Park, a live salsa band melding Afro-Cuban rhythms and melodies, a crowd of salseros “taking it down to street level”. And then there’s me and my ballroomies.

Here’s a typical exchange:

Salsero: Would you like to dance?
Me: I’d love to.
Salsero: So where are you from?
Me: I’m from California, but I’m studying at Cornell right now.
Salsero: Oh, what do you study?
Me: Human nutrition.
Salsero: And what brings you to the city?
Me: I’m taking a workshop in epidemiology.
Salsero: What??

Just once, I’d like a partner to ask me something completely off the wall while we dance. I mean, come on, I’m a captive audience at that point. Let’s get a little creative, boys.

I guess that means I should start making things up…